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Friday, March 25, 2011

Bonita Plays Dress Up

Hi all!  Last weekend my husband and I went to a black tie fundraiser for our daughter’s school.  Since we made the decision to attend the event a few months ago and since deciding to try to fit into a gown I have had for over a dozen years (which I loved the first and only time I wore it!), I have been working to drop just a few more pounds so the dress would fit perfectly.  Last week when I tried on the dress, the zipper made it all the way to the top and I found that breathing, while not fun, was achievable.  Success!  And so I thought my troubles were over.  Not quite!

That’s when I discovered that I had no shoes that would work (thanks to my pregnancy 11 years ago, my feet had flattened and gone up ½ a size!), no matching purse and no wrap to keep my bare arms warm in the chilly March air (the last time I wore the dress it was August!).  Yikes!  So out I went shopping for dressy shoes – something I haven’t done in a long time – and was mortified to find that there was not a single dress pump that was less than 3” high!  Seriously!  I spend my days in tennis shoes and even they hurt sometime!  I didn’t think I could make the arch of my foot bend to accommodate 3” heels.  But, I bought them (on clearance no less – Yahoo!) and hoped for the best.

Purse – We tried several stores and the purses were either really big (can you really carry a tote bag with an evening gown?  Apparently, some people do!) or way too small!  One bag I found wouldn’t even hold my phone (which is tiny) and I doubt I could have even stuffed a tissue inside!  So I went to the internet and found a purse that not only matched the shoes but would allow me to carry my phone, a credit card and, if folded into a tiny origami like design, a tissue.  Excellent!

Wrap – I thought this would be the easiest accessory to find but…NOPE!  By the time I was ready to leave the house on Saturday night I had four different wraps and or jackets and wasn’t really thrilled with any of them.  One was too dark, another too flimsy, a third two tight and the one I settled on was pretty but the little gold details on the wrap kept getting tangled amongst themselves and the wrap stopped wrapping and instead twisted into gnarled up mess but… it was going to have to do.

Okay, I’m done now, right?  Guess again.  At UFO last Friday we began to discuss pantyhose vs. bare legs and it would seem this is a HUGE controversy.  I wasn’t planning on wearing hose but was informed that for formal occasions, pantyhose are expected.  Well, that’s what half the group said, the others were with me – go naked – well, naked legs, that is (although there was a strange few who thought going commando (sans undies) would help prevent those nasty panty lines!)  Uh…no!  I had horrid visions of my tripping on those 3” heels and having to move to another state to escape my overwhelming embarrassment.  When I got home that evening, I informed my husband of the controversy and he immediately jumped on the internet to discover that it is in fact about 50 – 50 – hose vs. no hose. 

Who knew!  Well, I decided I was better off with the pantyhose in the hopes they would help keep my shoes on (they didn’t) and because my husband was appalled that I would wear a formal gown without them (a child of the 70’s, he still fondly remembers the little plastic eggs from the pantyhose packaging that his mom used to let him play with).  Even once that decision was made I spent hours trying on different pairs (yes, I had to buy them all – they don’t let you return those babies) to find a pair that didn’t have a huge seam running down the front and making me (once in the dress) look like I had a 7 inch scar running down my belly (okay, I told you the dress was form fitting!).  It was ridiculous but I finally found a pair that had a minor seam and if I took shallow breaths while standing, the front looked flat and smooth.  FINALLY!

So…did I trip and fall over those 3” heels, did the dress split when I bent down to pick up a dropped napkin, did my be-speckled wrap snag on another attendee’s dress and leave a nasty pucker?  Nope!  While I struggled to remain upright in those heels, I kinda liked being that much taller.  My dress remained in one piece though it felt like it got even snugger when I finished off the yummy tiramisu they served for dessert (I LOVE tiramisu) and my wrap did get a little tangled up but only on me.  We had a fun evening (I always did love playing dress up) and it was all for a good cause, though next year I’m buying a dress that fits even when I take a deep breath!  What a concept!

Have a wonderful week!  See what happens – I say in last week’s email, “Enjoy the spring-like weather!” and then last night…it snows!  Sorry.  I’m not saying anything more!  Except – “Wouldn’t it be great if John Cusack were to walk through my front door?”  We’ll see if the power of my words has any effect on him!  Well, stay warm, the calendar says it’s Spring anyway and…Happy Quilting!


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